We live in a world quick to judge, quick to react, and even quicker to cancel. But lately, as I’ve been reading through the book of James, part of one verse stood out to me:

“Mercy triumphs over judgment.” — James 2:13

It made me pause and look not just at how I treat others, but how I treat myself. Mercy isn’t a word I’d used or heard much of before becoming Christian, but it’s not just a spiritual concept; it’s a way of living, a way of softening the hard edges of life for ourselves and the people around us.

What Is Mercy Exactly?
The dictionary describes mercy as compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone when you have the power to punish or harm them.
In the Bible, the Hebrew word for mercy is chesed, which can also mean loving-kindness and steadfast love. It reflects the kind of compassion that doesn’t depend on earning, deserving, or perfection. And when I think about God’s mercy toward us, toward me, I’m reminded that if He can look at my flaws, my sins, my mistakes, and still love me… how can I not strive to do the same for others?

Mercy vs. Forgiveness: What’s the Difference?
Forgiveness is something that happens within us. It’s the moment we choose to let go of resentment and stop letting hurt define us, and is more about personal emotional release.

Mercy is something we offer outwardly. It’s showing compassion toward someone even when we think they “deserve” the consequences.

Forgiveness gives us emotional freedom.
Mercy gives us the ability to choose kindness over judgement.

Both are important, but sometimes forgiveness can feel much easier than mercy.

Moments Where Mercy Changed Me

When I Let Pain Speak
A few years ago, when my Functional Neurological Disorder symptoms first began, I was sitting with a group of friends, and when one made a comment that I perceived as a personal attack, I snapped at her friend out of pain and overwhelm. I stormed off to the bathroom, holding back tears. Usually in this situation, I wouldn’t have returned to the group, but when I’d calmed down and splashed some water on my face, I remembered I’d left my car keys on a table in the middle of the group.

Embarrassed by my outburst, I sheepishly re-entered the room and sat down quietly. My friend could have been angry at me. She could’ve told me I was being too sensitive and that I was overreacting. But, instead, she said gently, “I can’t handle this tension… can we please talk about it?”
She chose mercy over pride. Understanding over defensiveness.

Her compassion softened me, and I was able to share with her that I was in a lot of pain and felt overwhelmed. She forgave me instantly, and it strengthened our friendship in ways judgment never could.

When Mercy Gave a Friendship Back
At 20, I lost a close friendship, and the situation made me feel intense betrayal. Two years later, she wrote me a letter apologising, saying she missed me and our friendship. I had two choices. I could hold on to the past, the hurt, and the betrayal and ignore her letter (or even respond with anger and judgment), or I could offer mercy and rebuild a friendship that had meant so much to me.
It wasn’t easy, but I chose mercy. It took reflection and honest conversations, but slowly we rebuilt our friendship. She ended up being my bridesmaid and remains one of my closest friends today.
Mercy doesn’t erase the past, it transforms it.

Why Mercy Can Feel Hard
We’re conditioned to believe people need to “pay” for their mistakes. That being kind is letting them off too easily. That if we show mercy, we’re saying what they did was okay.
But mercy isn’t about excusing behaviour.
It’s about choosing compassion over punishment when someone is human… just like us.
And honestly? Sometimes offering mercy feels like setting ourselves free, too.

Mercy in Everyday Moments
Mercy is needed most in the small, ordinary interactions:

• The rude person at the shops
• The slow driver at the lights
• The friend who snaps because she’s overwhelmed
• The loved one who disappoints us
• Even ourselves, when we fall short

We never know what someone else is carrying. But choosing mercy creates connection, healing, and peace in ways judgment never can.

Three Simple Ways to Practice Mercy

1. Pause → Perspective → Choose Kindness
Before reacting, pause.
Ask yourself, “What might this person be going through?”
Then respond from compassion, not an automatic response.

2. Choose to Educate, Not Humiliate
When someone has a different viewpoint, have a conversation, not a confrontation.
Mercy sounds like: “I hear you. Can I share another perspective?” or “I understand why you might feel the way you do. Can I share how I feel?”

3. Show Yourself Mercy First
The harshest judgment many women carry is toward themselves. Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to someone you love. Give yourself the grace you deserve. If you find this difficult, I encourage you to sit and write a letter to someone you really care about. Write to them as though they are going through something you are going through, then go back and read it as a letter to yourself.

A Prayer for Self-Mercy
Lord, help me show myself the same mercy You show me.
When I fall short, remind me that I am loved, forgiven, and growing.
Teach me to let go of harsh self-judgment and walk in Your grace.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Reflective Journal Prompt
Where in my life am I holding onto judgment (toward myself or others), and what would it look like to choose mercy instead?

Mercy Wins Every Time
I’ll never forget the first time I felt God’s acceptance wash over me. I was in the shower, praying, and I suddenly felt this overwhelming joy and love that brought me to tears. It was steady, unconditional, unearned. That’s what mercy feels like.
It doesn’t depend on perfection. It doesn’t demand repayment. It simply meets us where we are.

When we offer mercy to others and to ourselves, it changes everything.

Take care of yourself,
Linda x