“When I had my breakdown, I went missing for 8 hours and ended up in a psych ward. It was pretty intense. That was a huge turning point where everything came to a head.”

These words from Kath, reflect a moment in her life when everything felt too much. It’s a moment that anyone who has ever faced overwhelming hardship will recognize. It’s the feeling of being at rock bottom, not knowing how or if you can keep going. But Kath’s story doesn’t end there. In fact, this moment is the beginning of years of healing and learning to understand herself. She’s faced situations that many of us can’t begin to comprehend, and yet, through it all, she hasn’t only found a way to survive but to thrive. This is Kath’s story, and it’s one of incredible resilience, vulnerability, and hope.

Kath is the youngest of seven siblings; she always felt like the ‘black sheep’ of the family.

“There were times when I felt like I was a bit ostracised and like I didn’t belong in the family.”

For Kath, being the youngest came with its own set of challenges, and as she grew older, those feelings of being ‘out of place’ only deepened. But her story isn’t just about family dynamics; it’s about survival. Kath has been through many difficult events, including living in situations with domestic violence (DV), both as a child and later as an adult. Domestic violence is something that can be hard to understand and can have long-lasting effects on those who experience it. For Kath, this pain started early in life and carried through into adulthood, shaping much of who she became.

As a child, Kath witnessed the pain of domestic violence between her parents. It’s a trauma that stays with you, even if you don’t fully realize its impact until years later. In her adult years, it became apparent that it had been a catalyst for the hardships she would face in life, including both physical and psychological issues.

When Kath married her second husband they had two sons together, and she felt like she had hit the jackpot in life.

“I wasn’t meant to be able to have children, and I had two beautiful boys and the man I loved, I thought I had everything.”

It was the family she’d always wanted, so when her marriage crumbled and her ex-husband walked away no longer wanting a relationship with their boys, she was confused, hurt, and devastated. While she struggled with her own feelings, what was more important to her at the time was the impact their father leaving had on her two boys aged 7 and 9 at the time. They struggled to understand the changes happening in their family. For Kath, it was a battle between giving them stability and helping them heal from the loss they had experienced. Her journey as a single mother hasn’t been without its challenges, but Kath has shown incredible strength in providing her children with love, safety, and guidance, even when she was struggling to find those things for herself.

The separation was just one chapter in her life, but it brought new challenges, which included financial strain, emotional stress, and constant worry about her boys’ well-being. While her eldest wanted nothing to do with his father, her youngest still dreamed of reconnection and a relationship. But that was shattered when he found his father’s phone number and organised to meet up with him. The meeting didn’t go as he’d hoped, and Kath was left to pick up the pieces once again.

“It was just the three of us and I was working and trying to support them in doing things they loved.”

While her separation from her partner was one of the most difficult things she’s faced, it was her relationship with another man that gave Kath the realisation she wasn’t coping. Her new relationship was a toxic DV relationship and it triggered past hurts and issues bringing them to the surface in a way she couldn’t ignore. Through it all, one thing remained constant: her love for her children. They were her reason to keep going.

It was in these moments of deep pain and self-doubt that Kath hit rock bottom. Twice she had what she calls a ‘mental breakdown,’ both of which had her admitted to hospital. It wasn’t an easy time for her or the boys, but in many ways it was the beginning of her path to healing.

“In hospital I was okay because I was safe. I had three meals a day, there was an art room. I was in a safe environment. There was no judgement because everyone else there had mental health or worked in mental health.”

Healing after years of trauma can feel impossible, but through her journey, Kath has proven that it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress. And sometimes, progress comes in the form of finding new ways to cope, finding joy in the smallest moments, and accepting that healing isn’t linear. As Kath told me, ‘There’s no set rules for grief or healing.’

In recent years, Kath has been incredibly open about her struggles with mental health, and she has inspired others who have watched her take ownership of her journey. As an adult, she has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a condition that causes intense emotional experiences and challenges with relationships. People with BPD can have a difficult time regulating their emotions, leading to outbursts or feelings of emptiness. It’s a diagnosis that’s often misunderstood, and Kath’s bravery in speaking about it helps others understand just how much strength it takes to live with a condition like BPD.

A big part of Kath learning about her BPD and how to live with it was taking part in DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy), which focuses on teaching practical skills for coping with challenging emotions and relationships, using mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Kath shared that the tool she uses most from DBT is the STOP skill which taught her how to, ‘Stop, think, and then react rather than just reacting. With BPD the first thing you do is react, and the hardest thing to learn is not to react straight away.’

In addition to BPD, Kath has also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a chronic condition that causes widespread pain throughout the body. The physical pain, combined with the emotional toll of living with BPD and CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), has made even the most basic daily tasks feel like an impossible challenge at times. For Kath, this combination of conditions has been overwhelming, but through DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) and art, she’s been able to find a calm she hadn’t had before and start the process of healing. Whether through art, time with her fur babies, or simply giving herself grace when things get tough, she has found a way to live with these difficult diagnoses.

Through all of this, Kath has found healing through the joy she gets from her two Moodles Nala and Lilo. They have become her constant companions, bringing her comfort and laughter during the times she needs it most. Kath’s love for her dogs reminds me of the simple joys in life, the things that can ground us when everything else feels out of control. Their unconditional love has been a source of comfort for her, and it’s a reminder that love, in any form, has the power to heal.

“I’m 61 now, and for the first time I’m living on my own. I can honestly say that last night I sat here and was actually at peace. I was happy to watch my TV show, have my dogs, and then pop off to bed.”

Another therapy Kath has found healing in her life is art. It’s where she can express herself, process her emotions, and reclaim a sense of control in a world that can still feel overwhelming and unsafe at times. She is an incredibly talented artist and enjoys creating pencil drawings, acrylic paintings, and glass art. Each piece is a reflection of her journey.

“It gives you time for yourself, away from your brain, your mind, and your thoughts. That’s what I think has helped me the most with my art.”

Kath has also learned the importance of embracing humour. She’s young at heart, and her ability to laugh at herself has been one of the things that has kept her grounded. I think we all can learn a thing or two from her ability to find humour in the hardest situations. Her laughter is infectious, and it reminds me that sometimes, the best way to cope is with a little bit of joy, even in the darkest of times.

“Having my children older helped me stay younger because I really made an effort to keep up with the times. It has helped me to stay young in my mind even though my body isn’t keeping up.”

One thing I learned from Kath during our conversations was that all she wanted was to be at peace and happy, and it made me realise that’s all most people want in life. We might all search for it in different ways, but ultimately we all want joy and to feel loved for who we are. Kath has shown me that healing isn’t about having all the answers or being perfect. It’s about showing up for yourself, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s about taking one small step forward, even when you want to give up.

“We are stronger and more capable than we think we are. You can do this. You’ve got this. It’s a roller coaster absolutely, but I think you just need to keep looking for new things to focus on.”

Her journey hasn’t been easy, and there’s still work to be done, but Kath is living proof that no matter how many times life knocks you down, you can always rise again. Kath’s story is about living authentically, embracing the messiness of life, and finding strength in the most unexpected places.

One thing Kath said that resonated with me was, “Treat others the way you want to be treated, speak to others how you want to be spoken to, and don’t judge people before you know their story or have walked in their shoes.”

If Kath’s story resonates with you, if you see a part of yourself in her journey, I encourage you to share this post. Comment below or nominate another inspiring woman whose resilience has left an impact on you. Together, we can lift each other up, share our stories, and inspire and encourage each other.

Ask for Help

If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek support. Here are some Australian helplines that can help:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention)
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 (Support for depression and anxiety)
• Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (For young people aged 5–25)
• 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 (Support for domestic and family violence)
• Alcohol and Drug Foundation: 1300 858 584

You are not alone, and help is available.